Decisions decisions

Decisions decisions

People make countless decisions throughout the course of their days and lives. Most are made without a lot of thought, as the differences in consequences of wearing this shirt as opposed to that shirt are minimal in the grand scheme of things. There are, however, choices that come up, now and again, that seem to be more substantial: Do I ask for a raise? How should I spend my yearly vacation time? Should I spend more time exercising or working on my yard? Some of these choices can really influence how other areas of life turn out.

Recently our 2002 Grand Am broke down and the cost of replacing the engine is more that what the vehicle is worth - $5300 for a new engine vs. $3000-4000 for a used one (source Consumer Report online). I know a replacement engine would extend the life of the vehicle but the bones of the vehicle are essentially 10 years old. That used engine would still likely be 2 grand plus (again only slightly less than the cost of a used one).

I know my problems are not unique. In fact, I believe these are the types of issues that pop up in people’s lives all the time. The kinds of issues that emerge that are not the end of the world but still take up a lot of time and energy in a person’s life. I think that between cars breaking down, faucets leaking, layoffs and company shut downs, investments going sour, and major construction happening on the road you take to go to work that we all contend with an unfortunate number of ‘B’ and ‘C’ grade problems almost all the time. I’m actually somewhat surprised that we all stay as sane as we do.

I’ve dealt with most of the aforementioned problems (and others) or have had someone close in my life deal with the ones I haven’t. There is seemingly an infinite number of ways to approach or deal with any of these. There are self-help books, advisors and consultants, tradespeople, counselors, friends, family members, and the good old “I’ll figure it out on my own approach” (along with countless others). Which one(s) do you use? I know for me it depends on what is going on.

During our recent car troubles I have opted to take in a lot of different thoughts and opinions regarding what we could or should do. I am lucky that I know so many different people, with varying backgrounds, all with unique experiences. Where it gets interesting is how there really is no unanimous or prevailing opinions. Some people are drawn to the 0% financing (or rates close to zero). Others point to the immediate devaluation of a new car the second it is driven off the lot. Some focus on warrantees and others on finding “gems” for a fraction of the cost of something new(er). I am also well aware that, whether new or used, some makes and models are better than others, both universally and when you look at specifics such as reliability, gas mileage, etc. Having so much information to draw upon and consider has made a complicated decision with many implications that much more challenging. *I am thankful for the people who have took the time to share their thoughts and opinions - I had to get that out there because it’s the truth. Your input has been taken into consideration. If our decision does not follow your beliefs I hope you will not take it personally.*

At this point I am really seeing that no matter which direction we go in that there are pros and cons to each decision we could potentially make. We could spend a couple of grand for a used engine and hope for the best. The costs would be the lowest (plus) but we could find ourselves continuing to dump thousands of dollars into a dying cause. For the last few years we have been putting in the kind of money into repairs that could have easily covered the cost of a car payment, even though we own it. The troubling thing with this is that the repairs are impossible to see coming and they usually happen at the most inopportune times.

We could opt to move to the next price point and look for a used Rio or Corolla for $5000-7000. We could get several good years out of it and maybe more if we get a make that has the constitution to last for 250,000 to 300,000 kilometers. But we could also inherit “drag-racing David’s” car that he bagged to all hell before selling it to the dealership or current owner, making it just as likely to end up in the same situation as the Grand Am. If we find a gem then we are totally the winners. If we get a lemon then we are in the same boat as right now.

Dealerships (and private sellers) sometimes have nice vehicles that are only a couple of years old that are a “fair” (sometimes) bit less than the ticket price of new vehicles too. I find this situation just as tricky because finding that relation between price drop and the age/kilometers on the vehicle is not a clear science. Dealing with (car) sales people can be challenging at the best of times and they usually try to make negotiations lean in their favor. This is to say nothing about having to take what is there/not having the luxury of picking the options and features you most like. All of this is happening at the same time as the price, or monthly payment amounts go up from the aforementioned options.

New vehicles are great. They have that smell in it that sadly fades after a while. Friends and family ooh and ahh over the new purchase for a while, and you know how it was driven from day one (save for some test drives it was likely on). You get the best warranty available, as well as interest payments on loans as low as 0%. The big issues here are the cost is always going to be the highest here (a $20-30,000 loan is huge for most people I know) and the novelty wears off eventually (the shiny new toy becomes old news as the next biggest and best thing, complete with bells, whistles, and trinkets rolls into the market). I’m also familiar with the term buyers remorse. In our particular case, even though the cost might be highest, it is somehow nice to know that we will not need to seriously consider getting a new vehicle for like 8-12 years (we bought an Elantra last November). Reliability is key here.

A few factors we will need to consider when making our decision: Some of the improvements in fuel economy in vehicles over the last several years has impressed me and with gas prices high (and only set to rise) I know this will have to be a major part of our decision. With Edmonton (and other modern cities) sprawling at what seems like an uncontrollable rate I can not undervalue how far a tank of gas will take me. I am also thinking a bit in the future too of how my family is set to grow by one right away. At some point junior will have hockey and/or dance equipment and we may be responsible for chauffeuring around him or her and all of their friends - how big of a vehicle is big enough for these kinds of things? Will there be more kids (a future blog perhaps)? I love Canada with all my heart, and much of our year is absolutely beautiful; however, we all know there are at least a few weeks every winter where it gets brutal (roads, temperature, etc.) and getting around becomes difficult. In my neighborhood having a bigger vehicle (at least like a CRV size) would have made me late for work a few less times and avoided us getting stuck in several awkward situations (middle of a residential intersection). But, for much of the year such a large SUV is overkill, especially as mostly a commuter vehicle. Would I be the person people shake their heads at thinking to themselves: “why is only one person in such a large vehicle?” So many different considerations...

The long and short of it is that we will have to make a decision soon and even as I write this I am not certain which option seems best. Our city is not yet conducive to effectively using public transit and with a pregnant wife we will need two vehicles in our family, even though the timing of having to absorb this cost right now is horrible (is it ever a good time? hmm...). We will have to accept responsibility for all the pros and cons that come with our choice and hopefully it will be the right one. So in the near future prepare to hear me tell about how much I hate Grand Ams and how I regret getting the used engine, my 2006 Elantra that needs new brakes 9 months from now, my 2010 Escape that has unnecessary features I didn’t really want, or my Prius that I brag about its fuel efficiency (but that I secretly cry myself to sleep at night over the monthly payments I got myself into). Regardless of what we end up finding wish us well - we will need it as we head into the shark tanks (the metaphor I feel is most appropriate when I think about car dealerships). Thank you all for your thoughts and input into this huge decision.

Choosing favourites

Have you ever had a tough choice to make? Who would be the best man at your wedding? What you were going to take in college? Whether to stay at a job, out of familiarity, or whether to look for something else, because you knew that a change would do you good? Well, I can say yes to all the former questions. In fact, I am projecting all those out to you because I have had to make them in my life.

According to the app on my iPhone (iPregnant) it will be 9 weeks, 2 days, 18 hours, 35 minutes, and change,  until my wife and I are projected to have our first child (should the baby go to full term and there be no complications). This is exciting, nerve-racking, and a plethora of other things all at the same time. With this date fast approaching I know that I will have to do the responsible thing and consider whom I would wish to care for my child should something happen to my wife and I. It sounds a little morbid, but at the same time intensely practical. On the one hand I see myself as being truly blessed with a great number of wonderful people in my life. On the other I have come to contemplate how far the connections of these relationships actually go. I've heard some people say: "man, I'd do anything for you!" and appear to mean it, but what exactly do those promises mean? Does that mean they would take a phone call at 3am if I've had a rough day? Would they take a day off work to help me move? Would they take a second mortgage on their home to pay for experimental treatment were I to get extremely sick? Would they avenge my death if I were murdered? Hmmm......

Where I am going with all this is this: who in this world would I trust the most to take care of my legacy should something happen to me? Who would accept that responsibility? Who would pass on the values to them that I would want them to learn from me? Would that person or persons have the means to give them a comfortable and happy life? Would they accept the offer and follow through during a tragedy? I'd like to think that I have a least a few friends who would and perhaps they might. However, the more I think about it the more I believe that a family member, more specifically an immediate family member, might be the wisest choice (at least with my current thinking).

Maybe it is me having studied a bit of evolutionary psychology? Maybe it is more of a belief that there would be more of a vested interest in a family member wanting to do what it takes to ensure their linage is passed on through the ages? I'm not sure, but it does seem like in the family versus friends debate that family gets the upper hand. Am I done yet? Nope.

Parents versus siblings? On the one hand either one of our sets of parents (who are both very special) could offer a lot. They have less bills, more time, and are truly excited for the addition to the family. But, and there's always a but, their time, theoretically at least, is a lot more limited than, say, one of our siblings. With our siblings there are other considerations to be made. To an extent they are each in the process of establishing their lives and may be trying to get to the place where the parental figures are with regards to money and time. This is to say nothing about the differences in personality styles, values, and subtle lifestyle preferences. I have been humbled by the idea that if we were to ask any of them (and they were to accept the responsibility) that our unborn child would be getting all the good they'd offer with all the bad. We are all a mix of positive and negative - the hardest part of thinking about this all is knowing that I/we won't be a part of it were something to happen to us.

My dilemma concludes like this though. In picking one we are essentially not picking the others. I know though we are all grown ups, and just like the guy who is nominated for an award but doesn't get it but still congratulates the actual winner, there are hurt feelings when we are not chosen, passed over, or otherwise not selected. In reality, we have some wonderful people in our lives. I know should the worst happen that "Junior" (our affectionate name for our unborn child - we have chosen to not find out if it s a boy or a girl) will be in good hands and that they would bond together for his/her good. I hope that we can avoid any kind of family disharmony when we make our decision and. This choice will be tough. I hope that our unborn child, families, and friends appreciate the thought and effort we have put into this decision and will be part of the village we will need to raise our child in approximately 9 weeks 2 days 18 hours, and 16 seconds, 15, 14, 13.....

It's the end of the world as we know it

It’s the end of the world as we know it

Some time ago the band R.E.M. put out a song with the above name. At the time I thought it sounded pretty hip, yet I doubt I understood the full meaning of the lyrics. Years later I still do not. I could go onto google or wikipedia and find out I guess, but I regress.

So I was talking to my brother yesterday and he told me of this fellow down in the states who is claiming that the world will end on May 21st, 2011. I just checked my iCalendar and I appear to have the day off. I read in the Edmonton Journal that he made a similar prediction back in the 1990s but had made some miscalculations. I think I am going to hold off on trying to surf 20 foot waves in Maui until I get better. In all seriousness these kinds of claims are humorous, disturbing, and thought-provoking all at the same time.

Let me begin by exploring the first of my three-pronged claim. I find what this fellow said humorous because it seems like every so often a wing nut makes a claim that the world is going to end and there always seems to be a group of willing followers who take to the streets to warn and push their ideas on others. All the while they quit their jobs, devote their life’s savings to the cause, and wake up the day after the faux doomsday to realize their said prophet forgot to carry a one during their calculations or mistranslated “death of everything that we know” when it should have been “just another normal day”. I shake my head at this recurring phenomenon because nothing happened on the year 2000 and I am sure the Mayans just decided they needed to stop printing future additions of their calendar and arbitrarily picked the year 2012 to stop. This trend has also been true of the countless other claims that the world is going to end.

This leads me to my next point of how disturbing the consequences the actions of some of these believers have had to endure. Sure I believe grown-ups need to deal with their decisions and think about whether or not racking up their credit cards, handing in a letter of resignation at their job, or giving up on their Atkins diet is a good idea, yet something remains unsettling about it all. I do not hear of the well-to-do, those who can restart their lives with relative ease should they be wrong, and those who have an over-abundance of material wealth as being the likely followers of these so-called prophets. No, it tends to be the impressionable, those from humbler backgrounds, and those whose lives who can not afford to be wrong about a miscalculated Armageddon. It is hard for me to believe the creators of such elaborate faulty ideas have more to their moral character than someone milking a pyramid scheme, the King of Ethiopia who keeps on asking me to email him my personal banking information so that I can share in his family’s wealth, or the con who tries to steal an old person’s life’s savings. It’s true, I do not think highly of these people and it is puzzling why these men (usually they are men aren’t they?) are given air and other media time OR are not treated like criminals. That’s probably the most contentious thing I have written so far (I assume) because these oracles most often exploit some kind of religious connection and I can’t very well comment on someone’s religious freedoms now can I? Well... I just did. Not because I have anything wrong with religion per se. I have a problem with someone who plays off how much religion means to some people. If anything, I feel sorry for those that their connection to their faith is so strong that they get brought down by the evilness of these people and at the end of it all they are the ones left to pick up the pieces and rebuild their lives when said prophecy turns out to be falsified. The flip side to this point is that I am not religious (spiritual, but not religious). If the narrow guidelines for belonging to the rapture club are as narrow as some would have me believe then I am stuck here to live out some kind of Book of Eli/The Road existence. That would suck. Yet, I do not believe that the creator of us all works like that (that’s another mini essay all on its own). Each of our own personal belief systems has things that work and that are fallacious. For all any of us know some extinct aboriginal population from central Australia 3000 years ago may have had “the answer” and it may have been lost or ignored and the 7 billion of us all here now are all 100% wrong. In all likelihood none of us knows for certain how everything and anything works. Though the amount we know about our world expands rapidly everyday, there are still enormous mysteries here on our little spec of a planet floating around this great cosmos. I am sure the further we explore outside of our own backyard, so to speak, the number of questions we ask will exponentially outweigh the number of answers we find. Cool eh?! So if you believe next weekend you will develop the ability to levitate and will look down at me trying to fight off the hooligans trying to steal my canned peaches and firewood, well... good for you. I hope that works for you. With that pedestal you are sitting on looking down at me you already have a head start.  Do me a favor and please keep those particular thoughts to yourself. What I really think you should be thinking about is the realities I will talk about in the next part.

Reality (enters room): This is the thought-provoking part... Solar flares, natural disasters, stray asteroids and comets, environmental catastrophes, food shortages, wars, terrorism, resource scarcity, biological weapons, diseases, and the content of some horror and science fiction movies (aliens, zombies, and robots who turn on their makers), these things, any one of them, or combination of one or more of them, at any given moment could change our lives in such a way that the apocalypse, armageddon, or whatever you’d like to call it would appear to be upon us. Though some of them seem, and maybe are, farfetched, they are, at least of some of them, not well understood. In reality, there are many tangible things that are happening as I write that have the potential to cause the world as we know it to change forever. It takes a person being very willingly ignorant to deny each of the above items in their entirety. I vacillate between being very worried about these things (some more than others) to accepting that some of these things are well beyond my control and trying to live the best life I can. Either way, letting go does me a number of favors. Changing my perspectives allows me to live with uncertainty while trying to control what I am able to. I try to appreciate my friends and family. I try to be healthy, but allow myself to enjoy the occasional chocolate bar and trip to McDonalds. I care about the environment; I recycle, compost, never litter, and drive a fuel efficient vehicle. I vote for the least worst politician that when elections come around (I’m so glad the green party got a seat and hope they will be a part of the next set of television debates - though I don’t agree with all of their policies/ideas). I keep some emergency supplies around my house. Nothing too serious, but enough to give my family and I a little while to think about our next step, should one of those frightening scenarios occur. I value protecting and taking care of my family without going to extremes (I would prefer myself to get hurt before any one of my family members, but I do not sit on my front steps, on a rocking chair, with a shotgun across my lap, waiting for someone to trespass) and I would go as far as I could to keep us alive, healthy, and happy so long as it it wouldn’t involve becoming a barbarian. Our world, though it can be cruel, unforgiving, and insane at times, still has much beauty in it and a lot that is worth trying for. Though much is beyond our control, we do still have a say in how many things do play out. I live as if human goodness will outweigh selfishness and if something happens next weekend, and I don’t end up helping my friend Sacha build a fence at his house (like what I had originally planned on doing), I will either check out or live in a post apocalyptic world knowing I did the things I could while here to have the life I wanted and chose and try to make the best out of an unideal situation.